Really, how are you?
January 03, 2013
A question. A simple question. An innocent question. If only I ever had the courage to ask you this now. I've asked you this before, you were always honest. You told me straight away if you were doing good, or even if you weren't. I appreciated that. You were always honest. Sometimes a little too honest. But I always wondered how you could be so honest with me, almost always. But the one time, or more like the entire time, that I needed you to be honest with me, you weren't.
There's a thin, fine line between want, should, and need. You never fully understood that line. You were almost always too scared to go near that line.
Honesty, that's all I ask. So really, how are you doing? Forget the formality of the conversation. The required "I'm fine, thanks.", "I'm doing good, how about you?". But instead, go for the full extent of the question. Forget the fake smiles, the formal answers. Peel away that layer you put on so people wouldn't know how you're feeling inside. Forget about feeling unsure on how the person would react. Forget about feeling insecure. If you feel like breaking down right there and then, go ahead. The person should care enough to be asking the question in the first place.
There are a list of all these people that I wish I had the guts to ask this question to. An old good friend. An ex-flame. A kindergarten friend. A friend that I haven't seen in ages. A brother's ex-girlfriend. A best friend. A friend just mere meters away from me right now. A friend sleeping in her room next door to me. And the list goes on. I sometimes wished I was the kind of person that acts on guts, as scary as that sounds. Someone that doesn't think too long before doing something, and finally punking out in the end due to lack of said guts. Regrets, regrets. What are humans without regrets.
So, you know, be honest. Be sincere. If asked, answer what you would want to be answered if you were the one asking.
Well... So, really, how are you doing?
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