Smile bright
stealing glances from
the edge of papers
but I caught your sight
averting, guilt.
Late night comforts
you turn to me
at time of need,
smiles, laughter
we shared
so much
too fast.
I was cautious at first
just looking for a friend
to confide in,
to share passion but
you wanted more,
when I did not.
I took a trip
through vast mountains
searching for what I wanted
when I knew,
I finally realized
ironically how
it was you
I wanted all
along.
I came back eager
to give my all,
my laughter,
smile,
my heart.
But you were
gone in the blink
of eyes.
how I wish
I took our passion
of photos,
cameras
to advantage,
the click of shutters
of bright white flashes.
I took it for
granted
thinking you
would wait
between long deep
breaths
wide eyed, innocence.
You gave me hope
while I waited
thinking, while I
waited, hope fills chest,
fills eyes, with each word
spoken, promised.
We had
that chance
but we blew it,
like petals of
daffodils blowing in
the wind,
what I took for granted,
what you waited too
long for.
Hands tremble and
heavy,
hesitate with each key
over the piano,
each note
bore a broken
promise,
playing a song to
save a life
while I wonder how
to save a life,
how I
lost a friend.
I watched your
heartache, your
heartbreak, your
first loss, as my
heart ached and
yearned to be
the one
to comfort you
and make
you smile
and laugh as
you always did.
This is the
end
as I try to digest
what I've
been avoiding to admit
all this time,
what I blinded my
eyes from seeing,
ears from listening
lips from admitting.
I finally have to
let go,
discard our conversations,
forget our promises
and move on
from 4 years back.
This is the end
I realize with
water behind eyelids
and tremors in lips
as I see yellow shades
fade to white.
I don't know how
to end this as I
don't know how
to end things with
you.
With a heavy heart,
I fold the sheets
the memories carved
in the lobes, drawers
of my mind,
to say goodbye
as I hesitate with
each breath
each word
each sigh. Good
Bye
-FNI
